Decided to become parents through surrogacy
Becoming a parent is
often seen as something natural. But for many — including us — it’s not a
straight path. It’s a journey filled with hope, painful diagnoses, medical
treatments, and sometimes, the difficult acceptance that carrying a pregnancy
biologically just won’t be possible.
In this context,
surrogacy becomes more than just a medical option. It’s a glimmer of hope. A
complex, deeply human journey in which a generous woman agrees to carry a child
for someone else. For those who, due to medical or biological reasons, cannot
conceive or carry a pregnancy themselves, surrogacy might be the only way to
become parents to a child who shares their genetic connection.
But let’s be honest: it’s
not easy.
It’s a path filled with
strong emotions and immense responsibility. Each decision — choosing a country,
an agency, a clinic — carries weight. Legal frameworks differ drastically from
one country to another. In France, for instance, surrogacy remains unrecognized
and highly restricted, forcing many families, like ours, to look beyond
borders.
We have personally been
through this journey in one of the European countries where surrogacy is legal
and regulated. And around us, many friends are either just beginning or
seriously considering starting their own path. We’ve all faced similar challenges:
navigating complex legislation, managing distance and language barriers, and
trying to find trusted professionals who truly care.
That’s why we created
this blog: to offer a space that’s honest, warm, respectful, and informative. A
place where future parents, current parents, and those just starting to explore
surrogacy can come together. We want to share our own story — the doubts, the
fears, the joys — and offer practical insights we wish we had found sooner.
Right now, we are in the
final stretch — our surrogate is in her third trimester, and we are just weeks
away from meeting our baby. We're overwhelmed with emotion, excitement, and
gratitude. And more than ever, we feel the need to connect with others walking
this same road.
If you are considering
surrogacy, already in the process, or have completed your journey — please
share. Your voice can bring clarity and comfort to others. A comment, a
message, or a story can make someone feel less alone, more prepared, more
hopeful.
Let’s build a community
where knowledge, care, and solidarity lead the way.
👉 This space warmly welcomes co-authors — intended
or current parents, as well as professionals in reproductive medicine and
pediatrics.
We’ve also invited readers from social networks to join us here. Whether you're
here to learn, to share, or to support, you’re in the right place.
With all our support,
The
future parents, counting the days to the most beautiful meeting of
our lives.
Hello! How did you deal with language barriers if the process took place in another country?
ВідповістиВидалитиHello! We had a coordinator who translated and accompanied us at every stage. I recommend finding agencies with local teams.
ВидалитиDid anyone here buy special insurance for the surrogate or baby?
ВідповістиВидалитиFor those asking about insurance — we added an extra clause in the contract to cover emergency situations for both the surrogate and the baby. Besides in Ukraine we bought additional health coverage for both. It was worth the peace of mind.
ВидалитиHas anyone had difficulties with parenthood recognition in their home country after returning?
ВідповістиВидалитиYes, in France we had to go through the process of adopting our own child. It’s absurd, but without it, you can’t get the documents.
ВидалитиGood to read your publication! have you already gone through surrogacy in Europe? which countries would you call the most “transparent” legally?
ВідповістиВидалитиHi, Lina!) In our case — Greece. Everything is clearly regulated by the court, contracts are officially approved. But the bureaucracy takes time.
ВидалитиThe first months are the hardest emotionally. What really helped you cope?
ВідповістиВидалитиThanks for question!
ВидалитиRegular updates from the clinic and photos/videos from the surrogate. It creates a feeling of presence.
I’m just starting to research surrogacy. How do you even begin? There are so many countries, agencies, and legal aspects — it feels overwhelming. We`re french.
ВідповістиВидалитиHi, Louis! We felt exactly the same in the beginning. What helped us was first deciding on the country, because laws are so different. Once we narrowed that down, it was easier to compare agencies and clinics. I’d recommend talking to at least 2–3 agencies directly, asking for references from families they worked with, and double-checking everything with a lawyer familiar with international family law. Take it step by step — it becomes much less overwhelming.
ВидалитиI worry a lot about the surrogate's well-being. How can I be sure she's truly supported and not pressured
ВідповістиВидалитиHi, Jamie! That was one of our biggest concerns, too. In the program we chose, the surrogate had her own legal and psychological support completely independent from us. She also had access to healthcare and could say no at any stage. We spoke with her and could feel she was making the decision freely. My advice: always check what protections and support systems the agency provides for the surrogate, not just for the parents.
ВидалитиWas it very expensive? We are afraid we won’t be able to afford it.
ВідповістиВидалитиCosts vary a lot depending on the country. In our case, it was a big financial commitment — but we treated it as the most important investment of our lives. Some families take loans, others save for years. It’s not easy, but being transparent with yourself about your budget and asking agencies for detailed breakdowns will help avoid surprises. Also, don’t be afraid to negotiate certain fees.
ВидалитиHow did you tell your family and friends? I’m afraid of judgment or insensitive comments.
ВідповістиВидалитиWe were selective at first. We told only close family during the early stages, and then gradually shared with friends when we felt more secure. Some didn’t understand, but most were supportive once we explained how important this was for us. Honestly, the joy of finally expecting a baby overshadowed most negative reactions. My advice: share only with people you trust until you feel strong enough to face wider opinions.
Видалити